She never asked for pain, she just wanted someone to love. And after it all, she not only lost a year of searching, but she lost a friend.

He didn’t ask for love, especially not from her. All he wanted was someone to listen. Lucky for him, he lost nothing more than a friendly acquaintance. 

Him: a charismatic, lovable boy with extraordinary talent. Girls and boys adored him, too much in his opinion.

Her: a seemingly average girl, but once inside her head, you never leave. Smart, quirky, interesting, but of no particular talent or attractiveness.

Naturally, she fell in like with him, although her head knew she was doomed from the start. Her heart won the battle, and he would be her only source of happiness for the next year. Also a source of sadness and frustration, but not the only one.

He and her became friends. She knew he thought of her only as that, but her heart still wanted a companion. He, being lonely, would occasionally flirt with her.

This flirting was what kept her in a painful cycle of loving and hating him. Once she finally thought she was over him, his flirting dragged her back.

And he knew of her infatuation. So after this flirting, he would avoid her for weeks at a time. This did far more harm than good, considering those weeks, for her, were rejection every single time. This cycle went on for a year.

At the end of this year, he found the courage to ask out a girl. Of course, it wasn’t her. She saw the happy couple walk off holding hands down the hallway. Pain and relief hit her like a train hitting someone who wants to end his life.

He told his now girlfriend of her, and her crush. This made the girlfriend defensive and slightly jealous. She still doesn’t understand why, considering it was the girlfriend who got him.

And he still somewhat avoids her, even though feelings have certainly changed. She has found other targets, although none of them have returned the feelings.

He is monitoring her every move, looking for signs of the love that once existed. She has moved on, but she still finds herself valuing his opinion more than she should.

And in the silent hours of the night, she still sometimes finds herself longing for what was, and could’ve been. The tears on her pillow aren’t of current love, but the melancholy of a lost friendship, and the gaping hole of a broken fantasy.

She knows that he never did, and never will, return her feelings. And facing that fact causes her pain, even after two years after that first spark of anything she felt toward him.